We’ll do the writing.

You take the credit.

If you’re staring at the blank inside of a card, here's the inspiration you need to write something, organised by occasion, sorted by how much effort you're feeling today.

No one needs to know it took you four seconds.

A few tips

  • Less is more. Three sentences that mean something beat a paragraph that doesn't. Pick one idea. Say it well. Stop there.

  • Name them. Starting with their actual name makes any phrase feel instantly more personal. "Sarah — glad you exist." Works every time.

  • Don't explain the joke. If you're going dry or cheeky, commit. Explaining why it's funny is the fastest way to make it not funny.

  • Sign off like yourself. "Love," "Cheers," or just your name — all fine. "Warm regards" in a handwritten card is a red flag. Be human.